We're exactly the same

Just been to see Clare Summerskill and Martha Lewis at the Twelve Bar Club in the West End. Fantastic gig at a rather strange venue in which 14 people sit downstairs in two rows and another dozen sit in a gallery peering out from between the banisters at the performers below.

Martha seemed quite concerned about this. 'You could only see our top halves,' she said to me afterwards. Unsure how to answer without giving offence. 'I don't need to see your bottom half' is not what every glamorous singer hopes to hear from her audience.

Clare sang a new song about wishing ill on one's ex after a breakup: from hoping her hair will turn grey to hoping she'll break her wrist and be unable to play tennis. Somehow managed to make all this seem jolly funny rather than bad karma. Also my own favourite about the couple who get more and more similar: 'And now people claim / We're exactly the same.' Unfortunately this song sticks in the mind and I can't stop singing it. My girlfriend is having the same problem. Not that we're exactly the same or anything...

In fact, no one would ever mistake her for someone called 'Noel from Buxton' - which is what happened to me at the weekend, on a day out in Derbyshire called 'Secret Gardens of Winster'. The reason they're secret is that they're behind people's houses. But it sounds so much better than 'Back Yards of Winster', doesn't it? There's a lesson for all event organisers there. In fact, from now on the festival will be called 'Secret Racecourses of York'.

Anyway, hopefully Clare will sing her new songs at the Diva Cabaret Night at YLAF and you'll all get to hear them.

That's the plug. Now I'm going to bed and I suggest you do the same. Unless you're worried about merging, in which case you should make your own decision about a bedtime to suit you.

Night!
- Helen

www.ylaf.org.uk

Not Live8

Helen with flyers and pals - Mich, Nicola, Caroline + Karen (by Jane Scanlan)

Just back from LGBT Pride London with Jenny and Ann who came down from York for it. Great march, full of pride and celebration. We handed out flyers for the York Lesbian Arts Festival to about 800 wonderful women.

Lot of interest in the fact that the fabulous fingersmith Sarah Waters will be appearing at the festival to read from her next book. One young woman said Sarah is her role model. And a pretty good role model for our young folk, I think you'll agree. [grizzled nodding] All right, someone did ask whether she's a singer, but hey, that was just one person among tens of thousands.

After the march we headed to Soho's famed Candy Bar where the women were pouring out into the street. Standing next to me as I queued at the bar was a woman with three different, brightly coloured cocktails, who kept accidentally knocking her head against mine while speaking. She'd drunk half each of two of the drinks but said the bright yellow one was for her girlfriend who had b*ggered off (wonder why?).

She offered to sell said drink to me for three pounds. I knocked her down to two and slurped away. This did run counter to police advice about accepting drinks from strangers, but it was delicious. Then a beautiful woman asked me to go to a club and said I was gorgeous. Still unsure whether it was some kind of acid trip from spiked drink but it was a nice moment either way.

Now we are home watching News 24 all about Live8, Live8 and Live8. Seems like we didn't pick the best day to get news coverage for a Pride march. No, wait, we picked it first.

Heigh-ho.

Helen

www.ylaf.org.uk